Murk

I woke up early to get to work by 6:30 a.m. I drove out of the driveway and entered into the murk of a cold fog. No sun, no other cars, just my headlights versus the clouds.

Work was murky - it felt murky. I came home, felt murky. Somehow, the fog has made my whole day murky.

After work, Chris and I headed out to see my grandparents. Pop is murky. His brain is murky. And the murkyness is killing me.

Out of the murkyness of today, I now sit in my living room after eating some Christmas dinner leftovers. Chris is asleep on the couch, and Bill Cosby is preaching to his children on the Cosby show. I need to be cleaning Cinderella style in preparation for my guests this weekend, but as of right now, I can't get motivated. I wish that I could wax philosophic prolifically. But I'm murky.

pass the cheer....

A quick thought before working....

I am so emotional this time of year. It's a little bit silly, to be honest.

I just watched "Deck the Halls" - that silly Christmas movie with Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito...

And I got a little teary eyed and choked up during the ending. What is it about this holiday that gets me so emotional? I haven't quite placed a finger on it yet.

Good Lord

Something that I've really taken issue with in the past few years is the emergence of a sort of counter-culture religious revival.

I know I've blogged about Barlow Girl before. They're sort of a counter-culture band, countering the focus on sex in society. My only issue with their message is that the woman must keep herself pure and clothed to keep her man holy. Now. Men are just as capable of keeping themselves "pure" as women. (Boys and girls, too. Because that's the age group this is targeting.) Now, in my opinion, telling adolescent girls that it's their responsibility to keep the boys around them pure. It takes all responsibility away from the boys, and places it all on the girls. If the girls dress provocatively, and the boys try to be "impure", then it's the girls responsibility - her fault. I think this is just taking that "original sin" concept a little too far. Don't focus on the women to keep the men pure. Focus on the men to keep the men pure, and the women to keep women pure. Don't place it all on the girls. That's a lot of responsibility to place on a 13 year old girl.

This other phenomenon, these Purity Balls. I read an article in a Glamour awhile back about this woman who pledged her purity to her father when she was a teenager. This woman had recently been married (she was 22 when the article was written), and her father had picked out the man she was to marry. They courted, didn't even kiss, because of the pledge she made to her father. I'm all for strong father figures....

Well, I recently saw the same girl with her father on TV discussing Purity Balls, this event where Dads take their daughters to sign a covenant between them - that he will guard her virginity, and that she will protect her purity. What kills me is when they started talking about "She is submitting to my authority, and I will pass that authority on to her future husband."

I'm all for saving yourself for an important person in your life. Everyone knows that I did. It was the right decision for us. Is the right decision for everyone? Probably not.

The man behind purity balls (haha, I said balls) claims that this is his reaction to a culture in which the "father figure is optional." Apparently, if you don't have a father figure, you're gonna give it up to everybody. But, is it necessary for fathers to make their daughters pledge THEM their virginity? My father didn't make me pledge him my virginity? Was I a model of courting and purity? Nope. But, the husband and I waited until we were married (and we were 23 and 24 when we were married).

I think it's more than just a little creepy. What's even more creepy is that the original reason for preserving a woman's virginity was to make it clear who the man's heirs were. The protection of a woman's virginity wasn't a religious or pure reason, it was to make sure that the man she was given to knew where his assets were going when/if he died. It wasn't because a disembodied voice came down and gave some old tired guy some rules to write on a piece of rock. That culture needed a way to keep up with property.

In this day and age, I do agree that young people need a little more guidance from older people. I think that if young people had more guidance, we would see a decline in some adolescent issues. But, for a man to be able to stand up and say "Here is this ball where my daughter submits to my absolute authority over her virginity, and will then submit to her husband's absolute authority."

I think it's a lot creepy.

Musings inspired by Oprah

The buzz around Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" is exhausting. I want to read her book to see what it is exactly that has so many women up in arms over. What message does this woman have? From watching Oprah, I've gathered what she went through, and why she needed to "get away". But, on this last episode of Oprah, so many women were like "Oh, I was so inspired by her that i just left and went to Bali" or "I just felt I needed to be there". And these women just dropped everything and travelled to Bali or Italy. Hell, I'd love to do that too, and have a deep, meaningful spiritual journey. I have a feeling that this isn't Ms. Gilbert's message.

It's not being in those places that gives you the deep and meaningful spiritual awakening. And, thank goodness Oprah added stories of women who read the book and felt inspired to do things in a simpler way - like creating a space all their own out of an underused space in their house, or finding time for themselves to reevaluate what they were living, or finding religion WITHOUT traveling to Bali to meet a yogi.

I think maybe the message in the book is to listen to yourself? Instead of listening to what you think you hear. I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure that the message isn't "drop your life and go to Bali". I could be wrong.

So, instead of doing my homework that I desperately need to be doing (but it's so tedious and boring. I don't find it interesting at all, even though I know that it's pertinient information), I'm watching old TiVo'd episodes of Oprah, contemplating the spiritual journeys of other women. What the hell. I'm not trying to pass judgement on their journeys, I just think maybe that wasn't the point?

Internal crisis!

I'm still having a hard time admitting that I really like Ron Paul (gasp - a republican!) for this presidential election. I know I shouldn't stick to "parties" like that, but it's so hard for me to get over it! I know Ron Paul isn't exactly republican, he's more libertarian, and that makes the medicine go down better.

I like that he wants to take the gross bloating out of our government and simplify the process. I like that he doesn't think we need to be imperialistic to be a great country. I like that he thinks that the "big issues" (i.e. religion, abortion, gay marriage etc) shouldn't even be big issues in the national elections in the first place, and should be left up to states. I like that he wants to get rid of our financial crisis, and stop wasting money. I like that he wants our men and women out of Iraq etc and wants to stop the bleeding money!

It's just so odd to me to identify with a right-winger! That's never happened before. And it's rough!