New home

For reasons I can't explain, I will be moving my blog to

Otium Cum Dignitate

...

I remember being taken out of school early because my great-grandmother had died when I was in the 7th grade. I remember leaving school, going home to change into fancy clothes, and driving the 2 hours to Jacksonville, Alabama for the visitation.
I had never been to a funeral before, or a visitation, I just knew that Grandmother had died. I remember walking into the funeral home, and following my parents into this room where people were lined up to talk to Grandad and some other family members. The line was slow, and as we slowly moved toward the front of the line, I noticed a box. Didn't know what the box was for, because I'd never been to a funeral. Suddenly we were upon the box, and inside the box was the deceased body of Grandmother, right there. I had no warning, no prior knowledge, no prep time. There I was, in front of the dead body.
And scarred.

So, this week has been rough. My mother's father died, and so of course there are visitations and funerals to attend. The celebration of a life is cathartic, therapeutic. The time set aside for friends and family to show their love and support for those who are no longer with us is special.

But for me, the laying out of the deceased for me to view is disturbing. I know that some people need to see that person in the casket for it to be "real" for them. I know that some get a feeling of relief knowing they are resting peacefully etc. But there is something messed up about dead bodies on display to me.

That is definitely not the last memory I want of Papa.

Frog on my Toe

poppa, i know
there's a frog on my toe
maybe i'll call him jethro
maybe i'll grow up to be
wise, as good as he
and maybe i'll come back after you're long gone

poppa, i'm sure
the worms have eaten you now
and jethro's been on some frenchy's plate long ago
now i'm pretty sure that i listen to every word
'cause i still hear you telling me still

"slap them boys when they're naughty
make them crawl, make you haughty
make you strong, little girl
you paint them toes the reddish color
and you know one day
you're gonna be bigger than a flea
you're gonna be bigger than that old poison ivy tree"

now i'm pretty sure
that i think you'd come and visit
and talk sometimes kinda like gidget
a funny little chance like an indian brave
he said "we all grew fat when the white man came."
but one day, girl, you're gonna learn
to make 'em crawl
make 'em grow tall
but have the grace
to be a lady with disgrace
and you fry them taters
and you make them with lady's hands
and know you're my pappy's baby

-Tori Amos

Overwhelmed

7 years ago, while I was working at Ruby Tuesday one Sunday, something compelled me to look at the dog listings in the classifieds. I wanted a companion, but I wasn't sure what kind I wanted. So I was going to look at some dogs to see.

I found an add for a 4 month old Jack Russell Terrier. I went to visit the lady with the dog, to find that she was keeping the puppy in a guinea pig cage all day long while she was at work because the dog was "too hyper". The dog didn't even have room to stand up inside the cage. Something in me took over, and I bought the dog right then. Yes she was hyper, and she was a mess because she had never gotten any attention. That poor puppy. I brought her home, renamed her Tallulah.

We had some great walks around the neighborhood. We visited with my roommates families dog, and with my family and the family dog. I couldn't get her house trained to save my life, but I was trying really hard. One lazy weekday morning before I had to work, the dog and I were lounging in the sunshine on my bed. When I noticed that she'd peed in her sleep on the bed, something she hadn't done in awhile. She'd done that in the past several times, but things had gotten better.
Well, i changed the bed clothes (and my clothes), and we went back to sleep. A little while later she'd done the same thing.
I changed the stuff again, got back on the bed, and made Tallulah sleep on my chair. she peed on the chair. 3 more times in an hour. While she was asleep. So i took her to the vet because the vet tech thought she had an infection.

The vet looked around with an ultra sound and it turned out that Tallulah basically had no kidney function. They gave her 5 or less years to live.

My mom eventually took my dog in because I had to work and be at school too much to give Tallulah the attention she so needed. 5 years went by, and Tallulah was as healthy as any dog ever was because mom made sure she only ate things that were easy on the kidneys.

Earlier this week, Tallulah's health took a turn for the worse. Her kidneys were finally failing her, after years of fighting so hard and becoming a really wonderful dog, despite the first 4 months of her life being spent in a cage.

Mom took Tallulah to the vet this morning to, well, make things better for Talullah.

After 7 years of kickin' it hardcore, and fighting for her life, Tallulah's kidneys were gone and now so is she.

I always thought that I would be over a few things by "adulthood".

I thought I would be over the horrid relationships that girls have with other girls in their adolescence. I think this affects my relationships still. I have a hard time being "real" with most people. I'm guarded, and have a hard time trusting.

I thought I would be over the daddy issues I've harbored since adolescence.

I also thought that I would know "who I was" by this point in my life. I have no clue.

I can't help but be morose lately. I feel that my mother is extremely unhappy. I feel that everything she has worked so hard to keep together is falling apart between her fingers. I'm helpless.

Her father is deteriorating at a rapid pace, and his care is left in the hands of her mother, who cannot be expected to take on the burdens she endures daily.

I
am
helpless

The ATL

If I could travel all the time, I think I would.

Chris and I just returned from a great trip to the ATL! We took my sister and her friend to see Tom Petty in concert, and then spent two nights with my uncle and his partner in their extremely cool downtown ATL condo.

Unfortunately the concert was rainy and soggy and at times a little cold, but overall the show was excellent. My sister had a great time, and that was the point. This trip was her birthday present, so she's what mattered!
After the concert, we crashed at the condo, and slept kinda late on Thursday. We visited the World of Coca-Cola, and I have to admit, that was pretty neat. It was a bit cheesy, but cool. I really enjoyed tasting all the different soft drinks from around the world. Taiwan has an Apple Kiwi Fanta that is excellent! It needs to be here. Yum!

Then we met up with the Uncle Larry and Adrian for dinner at a great little hole-in-the-wall restaurant, Six Feet Under. It was across from the Oxford Cemetery in old Atlanta, and it looked like a total dive! What a great place, though. I had some fish stew, and it was fabulous! Then we took a trip to Little Five Points, and did some vintage clothes browsing, junk store shopping, and searching for that one cool record at a used music store. It rained there, too, but we managed! After a quick trip to Trader Joes, we went back to the condo, cooked some snacks and talked for hours. Wonderful evening with some wonderful people that I just don't get to see enough.

Today we went to eat at another little hole-in-the-wall type place, The Flying Biscuit. It was somewhere I've wanted to go forever, and it was really a fantastic brunchey breakfast! Yum!

Then we spent too much time in Ikea, and some time at fancy pants mall in Atlanta. Now we're home, and I already am dreading the "back to the grind" that comes with the return of a trip.

Happy Independence Day

This day is not about prosaic ideas of "freedom" or "the right to bear arms" or whatever.

This day is about celebrating the incredible achievement of our countries founding fathers.

It's also a day that has been so cheapened and commercialized that the real spirit is completely lost on the masses. It makes me a little sad.

It's a day so cheapened that many businesses don't even bother to close. So cheapened that many people just celebrate it as a great excuse to drink beer and watch some fireworks. So cheapened that many people don't even know why we celebrate on July 4th. (proven by a Jay Leno "on the street" segment I saw a couple of years ago.)

I don't mind working on this day, don't get me wrong. What I do have a problem with is how the focus is no longer on the accomplishment of our forefathers. What they did was so incredible and had never been done in history before. What was simply an uprising of a british colony ended as an inspirational event that shocked the world and led the way for more human rights and freedom for people all over. What our founding fathers did was create a country where you could speak your mind, live your life how you chose, and didn't have to worry about being thrown in the dungeon or shipped to another continent just for going to a different church than the government.

If we aren't careful, those things that our founding fathers risked their lives, and the lives of their families, for will be washed down the drain. Our current government walks all over those ideals wantonly and sadly, in the name of religion. Something our founding fathers would NEVER have wanted.

So today, remember that you stand where you stand, believing ANYTHING your heart desires without fearing for your life or the life of your family because a handful of men wanted a country where religion and government were separate.

Lurking in the bathroom....

So, I found this in the bathroom this evening.

It's apparently a house centipede, and is pretty harmless, and takes on such creatures like the cockroach. But I don't care. Don't lurk in my bathtub!

Then Chris found this blog from someone else, and it's way funnier than I could ever be.

Everything I needed to learn about life I learned from working at Starbucks part 3

I've learned to be kind to others from working at Starbucks. I've learned, like Plato learned, to be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.

I've learned how to read a person in the way they hand you their chosen form of payment.

I've also learned how to be a parent.

I've learned to teach my children to not wipe their disgusting slobbery boogery sticky hands all over the glass in a place of business. I've learned to not take my children into a place of quiet and contemplation if I cannot control my children (bless it, I hope that never happens).

I've learned to teach my children to say please and thank you to everyone. I've learned to teach them how to act in an adult environment - not pulling hair, and not screaming and running all over the place, grabbing breakable things.

But most of all, I've learned to teach my future children how to treat others. To teach them to respect those around them, no matter what kind of worker they come across. I know that politeness isn't inherent, it's taught.

Every day we get a little bit closer to iPhones! W00t!

I've found that playing "catch up" with money is a lot harder than you think it is.

I'm serving coffee, not savin' lives. I'm taking it in stride, and letting it roll off my back.

Some people deserve decaf.

In a week, we'll be taking my sister and her friend to see a concert in the ATL! I always wanted an older sibling to do that for me. We're staying for a few days with my awesome Uncle.

Anthony Bourdain is my hero. I want his job. Except for the killing animals and eating innards and offal part.

Oh wait. That's his whole job. I'll just watch his show instead.

My BFF is moving away in a month. I'm so proud of her, but damnit.

I'm so excited to go back to New Orleans this fall.

Change I believe in

This man inspires me and makes me a little teary...

Dichotomy

Lately I've been faced with what some consider an issue of faith, and others consider an issue of humanity.

There is a common belief that in order to be "moral" one has to be a believer in some kind or religious being.

Moral, according my old friends Merriam and Webster, is
1. of or relating to right behavior
3. conforming to a standard of right behavior
4. sanctioned by one's conscience or ethical judgement
5. capable of right or wrong action

So, morality is acting in accordance with accepted "right" behavior of humanity. Basic human morals come down to a few tenets.
Don't kill me. Don't steal from me. Don't lie to me.

All "moral codes" set by ALL religions and philosophies of the world include those things. Most of them also include some form of what is known as the Christian "Golden Rule" - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Basically, treat people like you would like to be treated.
Christians have and follow their dogma and their morals, hindus believe in karma, (buddhists do, too), those of the Jewish faith believe in the ten commandments like the Christians, and there's no more stringent code of morals than that of the muslim faith.

While these major world religions might differ in many ways, their followers believe that there's something else out there sharing with us morality and ethics. In order to get the followers to follow those codes, they typically have some sort of alternative, typically negative punishment or consequence for negligence or disobedience. Christians, Jews, and Muslims believe in eternal damnation, and those that believe in reincarnation do not want to come back as a dung beetle (although a lifetime as a dung beetle is much more preferable than eternal damnation....)

So, I guess it's hard for someone deeply seeded in a faith so bound by morality (Christianity) to understand how someone without their faith could be moral.

I do not follow the "Ten Commandments" given to us by God through Moses on Mt. Sinai. I don't necessarily believe in all of the teachings of Jesus and his followers. I don't know what I believe in at all. I believe that karma is a force at work in the universe, but it's not contingent on any deity. I do not live by the Bhagavad Ghita, or the Upanishads. I do not follow a book or the teachings of any one religion or philosophy.

While I don't claim a religion as my own, that does not automatically exclude me from the realm of "morality". Morality is not contingent on God, or a god-head delusion. There is god-less morality, and I guess I'm an example of that.

This all has come from how there are people that would never find me to be a moral and good person because my morality isn't driven by God, or whatever. It almost hurts my feelings that I work with people who can never see me as a good person without being a Christian person.

Hallelujah

Well I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah
Hallelujah


Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
she tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah
Hallelujah


Well baby I've been here before
I've seen this room and I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew ya
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah


Well there was a time when you let me know
What's really going on below
But now you never show that to me do you?
And remember when I moved in you?
And the holy dove was moving too
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Well maybe there's a God above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who'd OUT DREW YA
And it's not a cry that you hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah
Hallelujah

---Jeff Buckley

Bummer!

For the past month or so, I switched back to using Bare Minerals makeup because I do love the simplicity and the feel of the makeup. I even spent half of my spending money allowance on a new foundation because what I already had was expired.

In the past month, my face has suffered a severe series of breakouts. I found out today that one of the only 5 ingredients in Bare Minerals foundation, the one that gives skin a healthy glow, is a known skin irritant. Bismuth Oxycloride is a known skin irritant and a by-product of the lead refining process, known to cause irritation and breakouts!

One of the other ingredients in Mica. Mica also gives skin that "glow", but it's known to irritate acne! Gah! I thought mineral makeup was going to be good for my acne! Booo!

The zinc oxide in the foundation, the physical sunscreen, is a skin calming ingredient and skin protectan. It's the same ingredient in Gold Bond, most diaper rash creams, sunscreens, and also calamine lotion. Apparently it's calming properties can't make up for the irritating properties of the foundation ingredients! I'm so sad, because i love the stuff, I just don't love the massive amounts of breakouts I've had since I began using it again.

Boo hiss on Bare Minerals! I know there are a lot of people who love bare minerals, and who don't have any problems with it at all. For that I'm happy - I'm glad it works for someone! Sadly, it doesn't work for me. Anyone want what I have left?

Why not?

What were you doing ten years ago? I was 15 - so I was probably at soccer practice or at the pool with Candice

What are five things on your to-do list today?

1. Clean up around here
2. Do some laundry
3. Do some more laundry
4. Go to work
5. Get some kitty litter

Snacks you enjoy? Trail mix right now. Crackers or Cheetos or something.

Places you've lived? great old Huntsville, Al

What are 5 things you would do if you were a billionaire? A billion is a lot....

1. Give large sums to charities all over the world.
2. Buy Chris and myself a good house we can live in forever
3. Set up a few trust funds for us to live off of the rest of our lives, and for other family members.
4. quit work (for awhile) and go to school for whatever i wanted
5. Travel

People you want to know more about? I enjoy learning about all cultures and people, so I'm up for whatever!

...

Sadly I'm back from the beach. There is talk of returning for our anniversary this year, since we know that it's off season and it's like a ghost town there (and much cheaper!).

I never want to come home from the beach. I could seriously live near the water and be perfectly happy.

I do my best contemplating while at the beach. There's something about that wonderful ocean air, and the sound of the waves that gets my brain going.

I was able to read 2.5 books while at the beach. I read "Little Altars Everywhere", the book before "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sitsterhood". I liked it, but "Divine Secrets" is SO much better. I also finally read "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath. I dig. I may pick up some of her poetry now.

I don't know why they make you read poetry and such while in high school now a days. They expect so little from students now, it's unfair to assume their mental capabilities are the same as students 30 years ago. Yes they require more subject matter, but they aren't teaching people to think about what they're doing - really think about it. Since they aren't equipped to take in great works or literature, it seems unfair to force it upon them, these young adults that are still treated as children, and expect profound answers. I think it's created a culture of students who don't like to read - not because they don't really like to read, but because they're forced to read things that they aren't fully ready to understand. I doubt I would have understood "The Bell Jar" properly when 15 years old. Yes, it's great literature, but how much great literature can a 15 year old really appreciate?

While at the beach, I acquired a newfound appreciation for my husband, and the relationship that we have. Our interactions, conversations, and the way we're wonderful friends is so much more than I could have ever really hoped for out of marriage. After 7 days with him non-stop, I didn't want to leave to go to work that morning after we returned. I am so fortunate to have found him so early in life.

Hope

That word is so over used right now...

But that's ok. So is the word "change", but I'm ok with that too, because those words strike a chord within the hearts of most people.

I'm so excited that Obama is our presumptive democratic nominee for President this election year. I just hope that the opposition doesn't start in with the mudslinging. I hope we can have an honorable and gentlemanly competition and not a pissing contest.

Obama has class, and I hope that it is shared by his opponent.

Yankee Bayonette by The Decemberists

Heart-carved tree trunk, Yankee bayonet
A sweetheart left behind
Far from the hills of the sea-swelled Carolinas
That's where my true love lies

Look for me when the sun-bright swallow
Sings upon the birch bough high
But you are in the ground with the voles and the weevils
All a'chew upon your bones so dry

But when the sun breaks
To no more bulletin battle-cry
Then will you make a grave
For I will be home then
I will be home then
I will be home then
I will be home then
Then

When I was a girl how the hills of Oconee
Made a seam to hem me in
There at the fair when our eyes caught, careless
Got my heart right pierced by a pin

But oh, did you see all the dead of Manassas
All the bellies and the bones and the bile
Though I lingered here with the blankets barren
And my own belly big with child

But when the sun breaks
To no more bulletin battle-cry
Then will you make a grave
For I will be home then
I will be home then
I will be home then
I will be home then

Stems and bones and stone walls too
Could keep me from you
Scaly skin is all too few
To keep me from you

But oh my love, though our bodies may be parted
Though our skin may not touch skin
Look for me with the sun-bright sparrow
I will come on the breath of the wind

The words that appear in italics are sung by a man. The words that appear in plain text are of a woman. Those bolded are in unison.

Now I know how to get revenge....

Not that I'm vengeful, but now I know the best way to get revenge on anyone that might need it. Just let them eat something that gives them food poisoning.
Apparently something I ate on Sunday gave me food poisoning. Very early Monday morning, I awoke to some violent reactions. I won't go into details, but lets just say they weren't pretty.

I felt I wanted to die. I couldn't eat anything Monday. I couldn't drink anything, either, as everything was promptly revisited.

I was so dehydrated and exhausted. I don't remember the last time I felt so wretched!

But, I finally feel ok. I'm finally starting to feel like eating, which is good because I need the energy to get going on finishing up packing.

That's right. We're starting the move tomorrow. I need to get going!

From a very smart lady

A friend of mine wrote this. She's such a brilliant mind.

There is a text, originally written in Euskera, by Basque author Bernardo Atxaga called Obabakoak. B&N gives us a synopsis:

"Obabakoak means 'the people and things of Obaba (a Basque village),' and the narrator weaves a tale reminiscent of Scheherazade's. The village is peopled with rascals, innocents, intellectuals, shepherds, hunters, idiots, and creatures of superstition, and the interconnection of their private worlds is brilliantly evoked. Parody, riddles, texts within texts abound in a book that is playful yet always tinged with melancholy. Possessed of the timelessness of the fairy tale and informed by the lore of the oral tradition - and offering a good-humored spin through metaliterature and intertextuality - Obabakoak is a multi-faceted and rousing celebration of the art of storytelling."

Obaba is the name of town in which the collection of stories take place. The Basque word Obabakoak means loosely "things of Obaba," which we could also understand to means more specifically stories of Obaba. Hence the book is a collection of short stories all centered around this town. Nevertheless, a key element to understanding the book is the knowledge that while these stories are extremely localized, they could have taken place in any town, in any country, and indeed on any planet (as these stories themselves tell). Thus the book is simultaneously local and universal.

Due to its resemblance in name, my colleagues loosely came up with the idea of "Obamakoak," and idea which I actually think has a great deal of validity and meaning. Humor me while I elaborate.

I was thinking more about the Obamakoak based on something that comes up in the field of Folklore Studies: that specific public display events, like festivals, often have intentionally ambiguous meanings so that individual members of that society can project their own personal meaning onto the representations. So while you have one singular event, you have multiple understanding of that event (which we like to call postmodern hermeneutics).

This is so Obama. He is criticized for being vague and lacking substance in his speeches, but that's precisely the genius of him as a public figure (not a public festival, but still a public figure that operates by using discourse in the public sphere). By remaining somewhat ambiguous, he allows many different people to project their own meaning onto him. That's how he can reach across party, racial, and gender divides: he means something different for everyone. This is also why I consider him to be an important figure as a politician: through his presence in the public sphere as a politician, he has the ability to change our national imaginary.

And thus we arrive at Obaba and the Obabakoak. If the Obabakoak are the things of Obaba, or more specifically the stories of Obaba - a small, local Basque town - then the Obamakoak are the individual narratives that we create about Barack Obama. The Obamakoak are the narratives that we project onto him. And, just like the Obabakoak, these Obamakoak are simultaneously personal and universal. Not merely a personal narrative, the Obamakoak are also universal narratives that can be - and are - shared by millions of other people.

from her Obamablog
http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/blog/erb

All I ever needed to learn about life, I learned from working at Starbucks (Part 2)

“It is the characteristic of the magnanimous man to ask no favor but to be ready to do kindness to others.”
-Aristotle

Last night while working at the SBUX, a woman came in. This woman comes in often enough that I knew her drink off the top of my head (mostly because she yelled at me over Christmas because we ran out of the way cute holiday gift card holding mittens), but she wasn't getting a drink last night. She came in for teacher appreciation gift cards.

Well, we looked for the design that she wanted, and we didn't have it. Then there was an incident about the SBUX card benefits program (free upgrades on some beverages with a registered SBUX card! Yipee! Blah), and how she hadn't gotten any of her benefits. "Not a penny", she said with a huff.

She proceeded to badger my bud HT and me about how idiotic we all were because have to press a button for the machine to register the benefits. It's the same principle as a coupon. It's a privilege, not a right. You must actually POSSESS the coupon to get the discount. We don't know that you've registered your starbucks card. Just take a moment and let us know. It's a new promotion, sometimes we forget. We're human.

Anyway, my point is that she has a great reputation for being rude, and that's probably why no one has gone out of their way to give her any special treatments. She treats everyone at the store like we're her underlings and personal servants.

I have learned at Starbucks several things about life. But, one of the most important lessons (while I always knew this deep down, I understand it deeper now) has been ... it's best said in the words of Plato:
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."

And in the words of Seneca
"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness."

And in the words of my dear friend Pepper,
"Give a man your shirt, and then walk a milk with him."

And, from Mother Theresa,
“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

All I ever needed to learn about life, I learned from working at Starbucks (Part 1)

The nature of a person can be read in many ways. The way a person walks can let you know a lot about how he or she feels about him or herself. Is she snobby? Is he arrogant? Does she have low self esteem? A person lets others know volumes about personality and character by eye contact, body language, tone of voice. Judging the character of someone else can be a tricky thing, but I have found that the way a person hands a customer service worker money or a credit card is as effective as yelling what you want others to feel about you.

Take for instance a person who keeps their dollar bills and change separated nicely in an organized wallet. Having an organized wallet does not necessarily dictate the niceness of a person by any means, but generally speaking they appreciate the fact that they have money at all, and appreciate what you're doing. The organized-wallet person can also take the opposite direction and be very uptight and stingy with their smiling and with their money, but not usually.

Many people who are stingy and uptight keep their money separated in their wallet, but the key to telling the difference is in how they hand (or throw) their money to the person behind the register (that's right, the PERSON behind the register. They're people, too!). If a person pulls out their money and hands it over nicely and respectfully, it's a clear key to their character! They are nice people, who care about other people and their feelings. They may not be confident or have high self esteem, but they have warm hearts. If a person pulls out their money and throws it on the counter and doesn't make eye contact, it is obvious that those of us in the service industry that we have no worth in said person's eyes. They are typically arrogant and self-centered people, and if they pull out wadded-up bills and just toss them out on to the counter, it's a whole other book!

So, when you think the person behind the counter taking your money isn't paying attention and reading your character, think twice. That person behind the counter knows so much about you just in the way you pay for your goods. While working at Starbucks, I have gained new ways to read people.

Oh, Oprah

I was watching Oprah, and she was highlighting the Angels Gate dog sanctuary in New York.

The beautiful hearted woman in New York goes around to shelters etc rescuing dogs in all states of disrepair. She has paralyzed dogs, partially paralyzed dogs, blind dogs, dogs with no teeth. All kinds of dogs. She has over 150 on her property.

While I was watching I was moved to tears. I had seen earlier on the same Oprah a woman whose life was turned upside down by Hurricane Katrina. I was saddened for her. But I was moved to tears.

But, then a women said that she felt so compelled to help animals because they are helpless. Domestic animals are bred to lessen their instincts, and then people take these animals and then abuse them and leave them for dead.

I guess that's why I am so affected by the abuse of animals and children, and while I'm saddened by events in adults lives, I'm not as affected. It's weird.

When in the course of human events

I think that every person has defining and reaffirming moments. Moments in which a person realizes that their path they've chosen decidedly the path they should be on.

In the course of my life, I've had very few of these moments. Today my moment was spurred by HBO.

The one thing I've continuously felt impassioned about is the study and the knowledge of history. I believe that the study of history is as important as the study of reading, writing, arithmetic and science. Without knowledge of how things came to be this way, how can we look forward and make educated decisions? The philosopher George Santayana once said "Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it." I believe this whole-heartedly. Without the study of our past(s), how are we to recognize the warning signs of imperial collapse, ineffective government, tyrannical uprisings, or atrocities such as the holocaust?

I used to believe that the study of the Greeks and the Romans was the path to understanding how things came to be this way, but I have since learned to appreciate the importance of studying the pasts of all the people of the world. I have since come to appreciate the importance of learning the history of our own Independence movement before the Revolutionary War.

I once took a class on the American Revolution, and it was the first time that I actually felt a connection with that period of history. Before I had only felt intrigued and inspired by the pasts of the ancients - the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans, the Babylonians, the Assyrians, the Celts. I suppose my interests stemmed from how these peoples began their governments, religions, social structure, EVERYTHING from scratch. They began with no guiding literature of people's past. No tomes of history or philosophy to refer to.

But, in the 1770's, a group of english subjects decided that the Imperial nature of the English crown was no longer performing it's duties effectively.
From The Declaration of Independence...
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness."

The writing of these words was a dire undertaking. These men were english subjects, and the current punishment for treason, the actions to which they were confessing to when writing and signing such documents, was death, typically by being drawn and quartered. There is no more cruel and unusual punishment than drawn and quartering. Gruesome death, that one.

The passionate belief of these men, these men who drew upon the democratic and republican traditions of Greece and Rome, the enlightenment philosophers such as John Locke, that eventually formed the basis of the government we have come to rely on wasn't just an upstart group of codgers. These men were staking their lives, the lives of their families, their children, their wives, and the lives of their families that still resided in England, on the ideal that a more fair and more representative government, held accountable by the people, was worth death.

I was watching the "John Adams" series on HBO this morning, the first episode, when the leaders of the colonies were meeting in what we now call "Independence Hall" in Philadelphia, and these men, these passionate men, who believe with all of their hearts that they must depart from the British in order to secure a more better life for posterity, their words moved me to teary eyes.

I have stood in that hall - I have looked upon the walls that contained such revolutionary ideas and men. And while hearing these words spoken in great portrayals, it dawns on me why exactly I want to teach history to the youth of America.

While in school, the most boring subject to me was American history. The concentration of the dates of battles, the dates that all those men signed the Declaration of Independence, the dates that John Adams was in France...those things are drab. Dates are always available to reference quickly. General timelines are important in order to understand the course of events and the course of ideology that lead to revolution, to war, to new governments. The words of the men who began such a noble cause are important, the reasoning is more important than the simple memorization of dates and names.

The dismal approach to history in our public schools today is a mockery of the study of the past. Real understanding of how things came to be this way comes in understanding the social, political and economical reasons and consequences of great movements in history. Not in the one-dimensional memorization of the date of the "shot heard round the world." That knowledge should fall in line with greater understand of the "big picture", and should not be the focus of study.

So, I have reaffirmed my desire to share the history of our past(s) with youth, even if it is only my offspring that I am able to share it with.

Things I can live without, but I'm glad I don't have to!

1. eye shadow primer - I've been doing some road-tests for the past few days. I've heard a lot of buzz about the difference a good primer makes, and so I picked up some Too Faced Herbal Eye Shadow Base awhile back. So, I used one of my favorite eye shadows for two days in a row without the base, and by the end of the day there was no shadow left. I used the base today (because of hella under eye circles), started work at 5 a.m. and as of an hour ago, the shadow was still there!

2. cuticle oil - I've tried all kinds of cuticle treatments, because I've always had to keep my hands in some harsh conditions while at work. My favorite by far is Nailtiques Oil Therapy. There's no cross parabens in it, it's got a great brush applicator (no messes!), and the ingredients are several nourishing natural oils.

3. ball-point pens - I've tried gel pens, liquid pens, liquid-gel pens, and I always gravitate back to the great classic ball-point. This is my current fave, the Bic Velocity

4. Blogs - Oh my god, am I addicted to blogs, particularly the ones whose personality really shows through the writing.

the world is awesome

exclusionary

I've been thinking about this recently, and why things are this way, and how things have come to be this way.

For some reason, in our society today, you are either one thing or another. Apparently, Christian liberals are unheard of. Can you not be both? Can you be an atheist conservative? If someone were to say such things, you might choke on your latte.

So, when people write profiles on myspace, on blogs, on facebook, they must choose to define themselves in limited words and space.

So, on any given day, you might find a profile that would say "I'm a christian conservative mother who is pro life". And that's ok. Those are decisions that you have chosen for yourself. Great. But, by saying that you're pro-life, you're decidedly anti-choice. To me, that also comes across postulating that if you're not pro-life, you must be pro-death (and to some extremists, pro-murder).

So, if someone claims "pro-choice", the mentality is that you're pro-death as well. Well, why can't we have terms that are inclusionary, and not exclusionary? If I say that I'm pro-choice, the conversation undoubtedly turns to how really I'm pro-murder, or pro-death of innocents. Is anyone REALLY pro those things (I would argue anyone ok with the death penalty is pro those things, but I digress)? My pro-choice stance does not limit me to saying "death to unborn babies". It simply says that you have no business telling me how to run my life, moral reasoning or not. Pro-choice shouldn't limit the label-ee to anti-life.

The term pro-life is so exclusionary and demeaning to those who believe what we all do with ourselves, our bodies, our lives is simply our business, and not that of random bible-thumper or one who falls on the right wing of the U.S. politic bird.

I am a person who believes that a child should have a chance to be a child if and only if that child actually has a chance to have a childhood. If there is any way that an unborn fetus is better off unborn than born, then the choice should be left up to those experiencing the pain.
So, I resent that the accepted labels are limiting. There's not a label for someone who doesn't believe abortion is completely ok, but that it's no one business but your own in that decision anyway.

In the words of Obama

TERRE HAUTE, INDIANA – At a town hall meeting in Indiana, U.S.
Senator Barack Obama made the following comments in response to the Clinton and McCain campaign’s attacks:
"When I go around and I talk to people there is frustration and there is anger and there is bitterness. And what’s worse is when people are expressing their anger then politicians try to say what are you angry about? This just happened – I want to make a point here today.


"I was in San Francisco talking to a group at a fundraiser and somebody asked how’re you going to get votes in Pennsylvania? What’s going on there? We hear that’s its hard for some working class people to get behind your campaign. I said, "Well look, they’re frustrated and for good reason. Because for the last 25 years they’ve seen jobs shipped overseas. They’ve seen their economies collapse. They have lost their jobs. They have lost their pensions. They have lost their healthcare.


"And for 25, 30 years Democrats and Republicans have come before them and said we’re going to make your community better. We’re going to make it right and nothing ever happens. And of course they’re bitter. Of course they’re frustrated. You would be too. In fact many of you are. Because the same thing has happened here in Indiana. The same thing happened across the border in Decatur. The same thing has happened all across the country. Nobody is looking out for you. Nobody is thinking about you. And so people end up- they don’t vote on economic issues because they don’t expect anybody’s going to help them. So people end up, you know, voting on issues like guns, and are they going to have the right to bear arms. They vote on issues like gay marriage. And they take refuge in their faith and their community and their families and things they can count on. But they don’t believe they can count on Washington. So I made this statement-- so, here’s what rich. Senator Clinton says ‘No, I don’t think that people are bitter in Pennsylvania. You know, I think Barack’s being condescending.’ John McCain says, ‘Oh, how could he say that? How could he say people are bitter? You know, he’s obviously out of touch with people.
’

"Out of touch? Out of touch? I mean, John McCain—it took him three tries to finally figure out that the home foreclosure crisis was a problem and to come up with a plan for it, and he’s saying I’m out of touch? Senator Clinton voted for a credit card-sponsored bankruptcy bill that made it harder for people to get out of debt after taking money from the financial services companies, and she says I’m out of touch? No, I’m in touch. I know exactly what’s going on. I know what’s going on in Pennsylvania. I know what’s going on in Indiana. I know what’s going on in Illinois. People are fed-up. They’re angry and they’re frustrated and they’re bitter. And they want to see a change in Washington and that’s why I’m running for President of the United States of America."

Time flies...

Hung out with Holly for a bit today. We met for breakfast at Panera, and of course we end up talking about work because we have some meeting tonight and we just don't think it's going to go well. Venting about work with someone who can commiserate is therapeutic undoubtedly, but Holly suggested that we meet and not talk about work and talk about ourselves instead.

Don't most people talk about work when they get together when they're over the age of say, 17? When you spend the majority of your waking hours at work, what else is left for a person to talk about?

I am currently talking to this girl I used to babysit over AIM. When I started babysitting her, she was 8 years old. Now she's 12! She moved to Florida a couple of years ago, and I miss her and her brother so much! I can't believe that she's 12 years old - that's so grown up!

Internet peeves

I dislike ambiguous blogs.

That is all!

...

I have good intentions with this blog - I have intentions to update on a semi-regular basis to let people know what is going on in my head, but really, what happens, is I end up complaining.

But, here's what's going on.

I'm slowly trudging through getting my teaching certification. I'm still on the fence whether or not I am liking being in school. I don't think I like being in school, still.
Chris and I have found an apartment and I can finally move out of this house! This house has been so good to me, but it's time to move on. Most people don't move out of houses and into apartments, but we're not most people. I think apartment living will be just fine for us. The apartments we found are in the neighborhood that I love in town, with lots of history and old houses and character and a kick ass cemetery, and it's not too far from everything, so that's great. It's even better that it's up on the mountain near the state park where we were married almost 2 years ago!
Many people in my life, some who are peripheral, some who are quite close, are either pregnant, trying to get pregnant, have recently had a child, or are very comfortable in their life with their children. It makes my heart yearn. I don't necessarily dream of being pregnant, because that definitely doesn't sound like it would be my favorite stage in life. I like caffeine too much.
But seriously, my heart yearns for a child of my own - my own little person that I created with Chris, that I (hopefully) help grow into a happy, stable, productive person who is loved very much. I am able to stave the yearning with babysitting and visits with my friends' children, but I don't know how effective this will be long term!
In the meantime, I'm quite happy babying my dear cat, Nettles. That cat, who is just as sweet as anyone could ask for in a cat, is many times the highlight of my days. It is comforting knowing that I have created a relationship with an animal that is so mutually beneficial.

Ok, Nettles isn't the only highlight of my days, Chris is a wonderful highlight to my days. He takes care of me, makes sure I get things done that need to get done, brings me dinner to work if I forgot it. I <3 him.

Beautiful Words

Imagine, if he wins the presidency we will have not one but three black women in the White House; one tall, two somewhat shorter; none of them carrying the washing in and out of the back door. The bottom line for most of us is: With whom do we have a better chance of surviving the madness and fear we are presently enduring, and with whom do we wish to set off on a journey of new possibility? In other words, as the Hopi elders would say: Who do we want in the boat with us as we head for the rapids? Who is likely to know how best to share the meager garden produce and water? We are advised by the Hopi elders to celebrate this time, whatever its adversities.

We have come a long way, Sisters, and we are up to the challenges of our time. One of which is to build alliances based not on race, ethnicity, color, nationality, sexual preference or gender, but on Truth. Celebrate our journey. Enjoy the miracle we are witnessing. Do not stress over its outcome. Even if Obama becomes president, our country is in such ruin it may well be beyond his power to lead us toward rehabilitation. If he is elected however, we must, individually and collectively, as citizens of the planet, insist on helping him do the best job that can be done; more, we must insist that he demand this of us. It is a blessing that our mothers taught us not to fear hard work. Know, as the Hopi elders declare: The river has its destination. And remember, as poet June Jordan and Sweet Honey in the Rock never tired of telling us: We are the ones we have been waiting for.

Written by Alice Walker, the author of "The Color Purple"

Meh

I was born during the beginning of a huge economic boom in our country, that may have hit hard(ish) times since then, but has bounced back to produce prosperity (for the majority) and ease of economic freedom. The dollar grew to be the strongest form of currency in the world by a long shot, and even middle-class america lived very conspicuously consumptive lives.

I remember the even greater boom of the 1990's. America was on top of the world.

And then along came W. Bush. We have spent 7.5 years going downhill because this stupid son of a rich man thinks he can run the country. I'm so tired of the old families, the rich elite, being in charge of America. But, it will always be that way because it's always been that way.

I've read a couple of articles on CNN and from The Economist that project a HUGE depression, not just a slight recession like our government would have you believe. A huge depression that might even be worse that what we call the "Great Depression" may be on the horizon for us, all because a stupid cowboy thought that we ought to go to war (stupid) with a people that didn't want "saving" (stupid) and then keep our people there, spending $3 billion a week (stupid) for a cause that we shouldn't have been fighting for in the first place.

So, I'm a little bit scared for our economy and our country. I'm scared for the next few years. I'm a little bit pissed that as I begin my life as an adult, trying to have a "piece of the pie" so to speak, it may never happen because we all too complacent to have stood up against it years ago.

No one reads this anyway, right?

Tell me, tiny bird,
What do you breathe when the
Sky is covered with clouds?

Do you breathe easily and lightly,
Or does the bleakness cause your
Lungs to tighten and your throat to close?
Do you dream sweetly through the night, of fat
And juicy worms
Or do you dream of your nest falling to the ground
With your eggs
And your dreams?

When thunder claps, do you
Panic
And take flight
Or are you driven by the clouds
To stay the course?

The explosion of a world

I've just been so blah lately.

That is all.

iran-Contra

The Iran-Contra affair during the Reagan Administration is such a huge disappointment to me. I learned about it a little in my American Government class, I was interested, but I heard something today that I wanted to look into a little more.

So, the Reagan Administration decided that it wanted to supply arms to Iran during the Iraq-Iran War in the early 80's. But, it was against current U.S. foreign policy to supply arms to other countries. The Administration also decided that it wanted to support the Nicaraguan counterrevolutionary movement to overthrow the Sandanista regime. So, it traded weapons for Iranian money to send to the Contras so they could buy weapons in South America to overthrow the Nicaraguan government.

So, most of the men indicted in the Iran-Contra affair after the news broke are now in high-ranking offices in the Security administration of George W. Bush.
Can you believe that the men involved in a highly illegal covert affair to supply two highly controversial groups of people with weapons and funding are now back in high ranking offices in our government?

What is going to surface in the next few years? Yeesh.

Here's the article on wikipedia

How to save a country

Yeah, I know. You’d never vote for Obama because he’s basically a socialist. His views are “completely opposite” from Ron Paul’s, etc, etc. Right? Wrong.

High on Mt Sinai?

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - The biblical Israelites may have been high on a hallucinogenic plant when Moses brought the Ten Commandments down from Mount Sinai, according to a new study by an Israeli psychology professor.

read more

Bloggariffic

In line with my new bloglove, here's a new one(s)

simply stated from realsimple magazine!

It has 8 different blogs about all different subjects, like technology and fashion and organizing and cooking...
Very helpful.

Also, I wanted to add that over the weekend I bought some new makeup. I bought some products from Stila.

After years and years of reading Cosmos and Allures and Glamours and seeing Stilaall over it's pages with rave reviews, I decided to try some products. I bought some tinted moisturizer, some of their trademark convertible color, and a convertible eye color
. So far, I'm pretty impressed with all of my products. I do like the tint that the cheek color gives, but I'm not sold on it's lip color abilities. But other than that, I believe I'm a Stila fangirl! Too bad it's so expensive!


And now I leave you with some beautiful words from Barack Obama.


Hope. Hope is what led me here today, with a father from Kenya, a mother from Kansas, and a story that can only happen in the United States of America. Hope is the bedrock of this nation, the belief that our destiny will not be written for us, but by us, by all those men and women who are not content to settle for the world as it is, who have the courage to remake the world as it should be. That is what we started here in Iowa and that is the message that we can now carry to New Hampshire and beyond: the same message we had when we were up and when we were down, the one that can change this country brick by brick, block by block, callous hand by callous hand. That together, ordinary people can do extraordinary things. Because we are not a collection of red states and blue states, we are the United States of America. And in this moment, in this election, we are ready to believe again.
-Barack Obama

a quarter of a century

25 seems old(er). I mean, I know it's not old. but 25 just sounds like I should wear suits and sit behind a desk or something. I don't know. I just think that number is ominous.

I'm nowhere I thought I would be at 25, but that's ok. In the words of John Lennon, "Life is what happens when you're making other plans."

Listings

I tend to make lists in order to keep my life in order. I keep lists of
*what I need to do each day,
*what I need to get done with school for the time being
*things at work to keep myself on track.

It gives me something to check off - something to check myself against, something to look at and say "OK, it's done".

So, Chris and I are in Birmingham for the night. He's doing a boyscout event, I've been holed up in a Hotel room doing homework (lesson plans and units, anyone?). Then I realize that I forgot my hairbrush.

This has been a long time coming - me forgetting something drastic.

Chris has made fun of me for years for my lists. I have always made lists, even when packing for one night, because it is my coping mechanism. So, since we were just leaving the for the night and then to spend the day in Birmingham to do some shopping and bumming around out of Huntsville, I just thought that maybe I would use a list this time.

So, since Chris isn't back from his boyscout function, I'm making him stop to find me a hairbrush for tomorrow.

That'll teach me!

Pranksters invade Starbucks with desktop computers

Read more here!

Link is now fixed!

Charles Barkley is my hero!

I've heard rumors that he's running for governor of Alabama and I say he's probably what we need right now.

We need a celebrity governor because they're so hip. I think it'd bring some street cred to the state. I also think we need a celeb gov, who doesn't have giant money interest in Alabama, to hopefully bring some great things here. I also think that his view on the republican party is a little bit refreshing.

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/02/15/charles-barkley-on-the-situation-room-gop-full-of-fake-christians/

Don't talk back to Darth Vader! He'll getcha!

Star Wars according to a 3 year old.



It warms my heart and makes me want children.

"Birds" by Kate Nash

She was waiting at the station
He was getting off the train
He didnt have a ticket so he had to bum through the barriers again.
Well the ticket inspector saw him rushing through
He said girl you don't know how much I missed you but
We'd better run cos' I haven't got the funds to pay this
Fine
She said
Fine

So they ran out of the station and jumped onto a bus with two of yesterdays travel cards and two bottles of Bud,
And he said you look well nice.
Well she was wearing a skirt
And he thought she looked nice
And yeah, she didn't really care about anything else
Because she only wanted him to think that she looked nice,
And he did.

But he was looking at her, yeah all funny in the eye
She said come on boy tell me what your thinking now, don't be shy.
He said alright, I'll try.
All the stars up in the sky and the leaves in the trees,
All the broken bits that make you trip up and grassy bits in between.
All them are in the world that's how much I like you.

She said what?
He said let me try and explain again.

Birds can fly so high, and they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right birds can fly so high and they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel more scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Yeah thats how i feel about you

She said, what?
He said you.
She said what are you talking about?
He said you.

Right birds can fly so high and they can shit on your head
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right birds can fly so high and they can shit on your head,
Yeah they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel more scared.
But when you look at them, and you see that they're beautiful,
That's how i feel about you.
Right, that's how i feel about you.

She said thanks, I like you too.
He said cool.

Obama

I've liked Obama since the last election, while watching his speeches during the DNC. They were incredibly hopeful and moving. I liked the idea of Obama running for president, and I'm so happy that he's done that.

Up until this point, I wasn't SOLD on either democratic candidate. HIlary has an "air" about her, and Obama has a different approach than any other presidential candidate up to this point in my lifetime. But I wasn't SURE.

Well, whoever wrote this blog has fixed it for me. The author has gone through the library of congress website and has given a great run down on the accomplishments in the senate for Obama and for Clinton.

Obama has accomplished more and on a wider and more effective scope than Clinton has so far. It is impressive how much more Obama has gotten done as senator, and also the scope of his proposed legislation. Most of Clinton's has been "temporary" tax cuts and incentives to remedy a situation in the short term. Obama has proposed legislation to not temporarily fix the environment and energy crisis, but to remedy the situation. I'm impressed. He's also gotten more support for more of his proposed bills.

Anyway, there's the summation. The lists of bills etc are included in this blog.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/2/20/201332/807/36/458633

Russia is exhausting

I have been studying like mad for my midterm in Modern Russia tomorrow. I find the subject pretty interesting, but it's exhausting.

It's also no wonder why those poor russian serfs were so fed up with their lot in life that they decided to rebel against the ancient regime and, well, also kill the ancient regime.

Nicholas II and Alexandra never saw it coming. It just goes to show you when you oppress massive amounts of people long enough, they'll eventually go violent on you. The depressing state of affairs in Russia from 1850-1920 is exhausting.

Take to the Sky

this house is like russia
with eyes cold and grey
you got me moving in a circle
i dyed my hair red today
i just want a little passion
to hold me in the dark
i know i've got some magic
buried deep in my heart yeah
but my priest says
you ain't savin' no souls
my father says
you ain't makin' any money
my doctor says
you just took it to the limit
and here i stand
with this sword in my hand

you can say it one more time
what you don't like
let me hear it one more time then
have a seat while i
take to the sky

my heart is like the ocean
it gets in the way
so close to touching freedom
then i hear the guards call my name

but my priest says
you ain't savin' no souls
my father says
you ain't makin' any money
my doctor says
you just took it to the limit
and here i stand
with this sword in my hand

if you don't like me just a little, well
why do you hang around
if you don't like me just a little
why do you
take it, take it, take it
(there she goes again
wearing those purple panties
there she goes again
wearing her heart
there she goes again)

this house is like russia
you can say it one more time
you can say it one more time
you can say it one more time
what you don't like
let me hear it one more time
then have a seat while i
take to the sky

--Tori Amos

Last week on Oprah

Oprah featured some very wise ladies on her show last, each of whom had written a book on finding the purpose and meaning in your own life. She also featured some "real life" women who had taken some of those practices described in the books to heart and implemented them in their own lives.

One of those practices is a "vision board" - a board where women placed quotes, pictures, notes of whatever it was that made them happy in life, their goals, dreams, and wishes...

A few years ago I think I would have scoffed at such an idea, but for some reason it strikes a chord with me now. I think I'm going to make a vision board and put it in my office by my desk. I'm going to place some things on the board (a pretty board, not some ugly old walmart special bulletin board that's falling apart. My immediate goal is going to creating a nice and soothing space out of my desk instead of a pit of despair (or clutter). I'm going to find a neat picture in a magazine and put it on my vision board as my first vision.

My next vision, right after I place a picture of a work space is going to be a job at Randolph school. It has always been my dream to be either a teacher at a private school or a teacher in a school that really could use someone with drive and passion. I know that's two crazy ends of the spectrum, but that's what I want as a teacher.

I don't have a teaching certification yet, but the job description posted on the Randolph website only says bachelors degree with experience in teaching a plus. I'm hoping that with a bachelors, being currently enrolled in a teacher ed program, and all of the other credentials that I have will make me at least a decent candidate for the job. It's something I want so very badly.

So, cheesy vision board, here I come.

vita.mn

I have recently, thanks to my cousin, been very interested in mass-market blogs. She has turned me on to cnet's "The Social" by Caroline McCarthy. It's not exactly my subject matter, but I find it very interesting. I've also found the gawker, a celeb watch blog, Zen Habits, and boinkology.net. But, what I've been most interested in is www.vita.mn .

Vita.mn is a large blog based on the life and activities of living in the Minneapolis metro area. I wish that Huntsville had something so interesting. There are a lot of things going on in Huntsville - some interesting, and some not. But, for the most part, you have no excuse to be bored here. I chose not to go out because it's not my thing, but there would be plenty to do if I wanted to.

The only thing I've been able to find remotely close is Huntsville Event magazine, which we carry at Starbucks. Even though this magazine is run by a person I knew in high school, I'm just not impressed. It seems to cater to the "upper crust" (I guess why it's in Starbucks), with fancy dinners, expensive charity balls and advertisements for fancy clothing boutiques, spas, and Debutante events. Huntsville might have some affluent citizens, but this magazine certainly doesn't represent the general population, or the interests of the people that might actually feel fed by such a publication.

A couple of people I know have had really hard weeks the past week. Well, actually, several people I know have had really bad weeks in the past week, and I wish there was more I could do for each of them.

I must say that I'm surprised how maturly these crises have been handled by some. And while, when I was 18 years old, I thought that my life had drama, I know now that things could have been much harder to handle with a decent head on my shoulders.

I am proud of them for sticking to it in some cases, and in other cases, I'm proud of them getting the heck out of there.

Flu

So, this is the first time in my life that I've ever had the flu.

And I'm not at all interested in the flu. This has been the most icky few days I can remember. Taking a shower was a major undertaking today. Doing my homework was ehausting. Normal every day activities have been like running marathons. Everything aches, I'm congested, I'm coughing and sneezing, and just getting up off the couch seems like an enormous waste of effort.

I'm ready to be over this flu and to move on with my life.

To reiterate

I do not like Huckabee. I do not like him here nor there. i do not like him anywhere.

The more I read about him, the more I feel he is not what our country needs. Someone so close minded toward any belief system or lifestyle than his own cannot be open hearted enough to deal with the diversity in this country and globally.

Super Tuesday

I am watching Brian Williams cover the results of thie Super Tuesday Presidential Primary.

I am watching as Huckabee surprises everyone as he surpasses Romney in the republican primaries.

I am watching astounded.

My arguements might sound as if I'm against religion, and I'm not. Just bare with me.

Mike Huckabee has catch phrases like "preserving the sanctity of life". He believes that there should be no abortion because apparently the bible tells me so. He believes that because the bible, a religious text, says that the United States should uphold laws based on this religious text. I'm pretty sure that the constitution is decidedly for the separation of church and state.

He is campaigning on a platform to do away with the IRS because the constitution doesn't have a place explicitly for the IRS, that taxation should be a responsibility of the states - constitutionally speaking.

Wait a minute... I guess it's ok to tell women what they can do with their bodies since it's in the bible even though it's not in the constitution to combine the two.

Huckabee picks and chooses what he which parts of the constitution he likes and which parts he doesn't to fullfill whatever he feels like at the moment. I respect religious conviction, but I'm afraid that if we mix his religious conviction with our not religious government, we could find some horrible situations.

Here is my message -

As young people, we have more at stake in this election than the older people - our futures are a little longer than theirs. While at the polls today, I only saw old people. LIke, senior citizen people, and those people were all voting republican. I bet they all went out and voted because in their church bullitens their preachers were promoting men like Mike Huckabee for president because if we don't vote him in, our country is obviously going to hell. Scare tactics.

If you care at all - even just a little bit, it's so important to vote and have your voice be heard. There are staggering statistics on how many young people do not vote. It's disheartening.

The republican liberals can live with?

I always thought there was something ingenuine about John McCain. When discussion issues himself, he sugar coats them and makes the unsuspecting masses think he's a "bipartisan" link....
But there was always something weird and off about him in my opinion.

This article hits the nail on the head. Ugh.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/348434_mccainonline24.html?source=mypi

Since Chris has switched jobs back to his old position with his other group, I can see a huge improvement in his mood and his self esteem.

How much energy do we put into our work? I would say that most people place a good majority of their energy into their work. I guess that's proportionate with how much of our time we spend at work? I'm not sure. But, while Chris was working on a project that didn't really use his abilities, he felt that his time spent was pointless. He felt he didn't contribute to the "greater good" at work, and he was so frustrated.

Now that he feels like he's contributing something, his demeanor is different. He doesn't come home angry or frustrated because of the work that he's doing. He might come home angry and frustrated for some other reason, but not because of work!

I can also take this concept and apply it to myself, and how a toxic work environment can alter your entire outlook. While working with the kids at the daycare, I enjoyed working with the kids for sure, but the work environment was so negative because of the people I was surrounded by, and that morphed into the rest of my life and changed my entire outlook on everything. I can tell a change in myself since leaving the daycare. I can tell that having a positive work environment has made me a more positive person. Yeah, people as a whole suck, and serving them coffee and lattes can get really monotonous, but as a rule, the people are nice and genuine. My coworkers are all really great and while we may have negative moments, we have a good time together.

So, we're working for the "man", for a huge corporation, but it's also #6 on the Forbes 100 best places to work.

on moments

I think that sometimes I forget how important little moments with Chris are until we have the little moments.

Whether those be moments walking around while grocery shopping or moments while having bits of marital intimacy, those times are so important to the feelings that give me life and energy.

Connecting with him on that level brings my day up to a different level. It's so easy to just let go and have a moment or two with him, and I take them for granted.

I take him for granted sometimes.

Tabula nothing!

I have fought within myself for years to believe that people are inherently good inside - and that all people should be given completely clean slates at first (not skeptical slates). ˆTabula rasaˆI say.

My instinct says that I should trust no one (Moulder, anyone?), my heart says everyone is good.

But, I was confronted with that tonight at work. At 10:10, when I'm kicking people out and locking doors to get the heck out of dodge, this middle aged woman comes in and starts loitering. I politely tell her that it's time for us to lock our doors (at this point we're already taking machines apart and pouring things out) and that I need her to leave. She starts giving me some sob story and says that she just needs something to drink. So, after a little hot chocolate, we make her a hot chocolate.

While she's paying for said hot chocolate, she starts asking my girl behind the register, S, what year it is! Poor S! She handled it really well. But then she freaked out. So, the crazy lady starts loitering some more, and sits down in a chair. I tell her again that it's time for her to leave that we need to lock our doors she stays in the chair and starts asking me for a cigarette, and then she sort of insinuated that she would like some weed, as well. WTF?!?

So, she gets up and asks me for a cup of water because she's been in the hospital and she woke up with nothing on her and she doesn't know where she is. So I make her a cup of water, and she then sits down at another table! At this point E is calling the cops, and I'm like directing this chick to the door. But, before she starts asking for cigarettes and stuff, E asks me if she wants me to call the cops. I was hesitant because I wanted to trust the chick. But it was obvious something was iffy about her.

It makes me think that if E wasn't so quick to cut out the bullshit, what would have happened? Would I have waited until it got really freaky before I did something? I have no idea. But, it makes me not want to trust anyone. Ever. Tabula

Delayed reaction

Today in my car on the way home from work, I broke down about something that happened 3 and a half years ago.

I don't know why it took so long for me to come to terms with it, but it has. I am more depressed now that I was then - maybe I just pushed it aside until it couldn't be pushed anymore, or maybe the level of maturity is higher now? I have no idea. But it sucks

The rise and fall...

When looking at an issue historically, any historian worth their weight will address a problem socially, politically and economically.

If you're separated enough by time from the situation, a historian might be able to address an entire civilization by those terms - like one might about the Roman Empire, or the Middle Ages, or even the Renaissance. It's even possible to look at the Russian Revolution on those terms and say "here are these social, political and economic problems that gave rise to this situation."

But, and this is probably because I've been trained to look back, not presently or foward, I have a hard time looking at where we stand right now and saying "here are the social political and economic problems that have given rise to the situation we are in here in the US right now." I can't look back and see what caused the political climate to be so moved by a woman tearing up (heaven forbid!), or by the fact that one candidate might not be a "good christian american", and might be something else entirely, or why are we polarized by the issue of gay marriage or abortion? Why do we focus on these (seemingly huge, but honestly) minor issues in politics that are so menial and day-to-day? Why aren't we, on the other hand, focusing on economic policy, creating a climate for success in all walks of life, foreign policy? Why are the small issues the ones to focus on? Why are we so focused on religion and religious issues and the emotional state of a woman in a state of stress?

Why do more people care about those issues than the fact that our economy is falling fast? Or that our dollar is so weak that canadian has caught up? Why are we so concerned with stem cell research that we aren't even paying attention when a presidential candidate wants to talk about fixing the deficit, or overhauling health care for the people's benefit not the corporations, or how to handle foreign issues without sending bombs and troops?

I am afraid to think about how I will one day look back at the climate of my 20's - politically, socially, and economically - and have to teach that to future children and students. Will these kids stand up and say "What the hell were you guys doing, then?" Will I have to say "oh, we were text messenging eachother LOLcats?" or "We were too busy listening to our iPods"? Will I even get the chance to share it at all?

The Roman empire rose and it fell over thousands of years - the the US has only taken 250 years to make and destroy itself.

well, inside my head is simply cloudy

I finished the book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert last night. I didn't know what to expect from this book. I saw it on Oprah, and thought that Ms. Gilbert was a very dynamic person, and I was curious what exactly she had to say. But, the more I saw women on Oprah thinking that they needed to do exactly what this woman did to find her meaning in life to find their own, the more I didn't want to read the book.

But, I put it on my christmas list, and it was the first thing I read after Christmas.

Her writing style is so wonderful and understandable. It's as if she's sitting with you, talking about her life experiences as a dearest friend. As she shares her lowest moments, you can hear the hope in her tone. As she shares her most beautiful moments, you can almost hear the exhalation of contentment. She is uplifting and refreshing to read.

I am reminded of something Ms. Gilbert said on Oprah one day...
She said that she certainly didn't think that everyone needed to hit the lowest of the low, crying for nights on end on the floor of your bathroom in the pits of depression in Ms. Gilbert's case, to find themselves, to find meaning, to find happiness.

In the books she says that happiness isn't a "luck" event. Happiness is something you create for yourself. It's something you find within yourself.

From this book I take away knowing that peace and meaning and happiness is there for everyone, that it isn't something that you necessarily find in religion, or church, or a god - but it can be. It isn't something that has to do with "success" (what is success really?) or money, or stage in life, or labels, or education. Or it is something that has to do with those things, that it's completely up to what is inside your own head, not what's inside the heads of those around you.