Smokey, this is not 'nam. It's bowling. There are rules

Oh, Voodoo Fest. What the heck were you thinking?

I loved the music. Most of the music was fantastic, and some was lackluster to say the least. I have to say that after spending most of Friday thinking about New Orleans and Katrina, and then listening to three different bands rage against the machine - including the band Rage Against the Machine.

"It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here
What better time than now (All hell cant stop us now)
All hell cant stop us now (All hell cant stop us now)"
-Rage Against the Machine "Guerilla Radio"

I am dissapointed in the state of affairs in this country right now. When Zack de la Rocha bent down on the stage, told us all that America wasn't only at war in Iraq - we're at war in America, against New Orleans, and asked us all to wake up - I felt something in me. New Orleans isn't what people (the media) make it out to be. Why aren't we more outraged by the way this country is going right now? Why aren't we standing up for something like generations before us have stood up for something? Why doesn't anyone listen when people do stand up?

I feel like that John Mayer song is very applicable as well. I hate putting John Mayer lyrics with Rage lyrics, but it works.

"now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it

so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change"

So, here's the issue with that John Mayer song. I think de la Rocha would smack Mayer. He would say we do have the power to bring our "neighbours home from war". Look at what our parents generation did for 'nam.

Kites and Running

I finished "The Kite Runner" yesterday. It was a sad story, for sure. But, it ended with hope and that's great in a world where all of the statements made are typically depressing and hopeless.

It makes me realize just how lucky I am to be a citizen of a country that isn't in civil turmoil. I am so lucky that my life hasn't been upturned by violent religious zealots intent on removing any opposition by any means necesary.

It also makes me feel very lucky to live in a country where I can readily aquire some pain meds for the migraine I'm trying to get.

A whole website dedicated to starbucks gossip. Wow.

http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com/

It's hard to believe that people would dedicate a whole website to starbucks gossip. Wow people.

Friday morning we all go to NOLA for Voodoo! I'm so freaking excited for the trip!

Off days are nice.

I cleaned this morning, got rid of lots of things I was hanging on to for no reason at all, ran some errands. I found a new magazine that I dig at b&n - it's called "Bust". It might be a nice replacement for Jane. But I will always miss Jane. How sad for Jane.

I picked up my tips, visited for a little while at work, and came home for a few minutes and then out to visit with a friend. We had a great catch-up session about how life had been for us in the last few months, and it felt good to hang out with her again. I have missed her so much! I hate that I get so wrapped up in myself that I forget to call or email or talk to some of my friends. I don't feel self-important while I'm sitting by myself and enjoying it, but when I think about all the people I haven't called in awhile, I feel selfish. I mean, it is my time, but I should share!

The last two days have been challenging for me, but I needed some girl time, and I feel much better.

But, I love bagels.

http://www.bragster.com/bet/5498-pelt-ann-coulter-with-bagels-win-1000

This is too funny. That woman is insane!

carrot cake recpie

organic carrot cake recipe
1 cup whole wheat organic flour
1 cup white organic flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
3 cups grated organic carrots
4 organic brown eggs
1 C organic canola oil (you can use a different oil, but we use a canola oil that has Omega 3s in it)
3/4 C crushed pineapple (drained)
1 C golden raisins

Heat oven to 325. Grease a pan (you can make it as a 2-layer cake with 9-inch pans, or as cupcakes... I think it made 30ish cupcakes). Mix all ingredients except raisins in a mixer on medium for about 2 minutes. Add raisins. Bake.

Cream cheese frosting
12oz softened cream cheese
4 C powdered sugar
1tsp vanilla
1/2tsp salt

Breakthrough? Or not.

So, yesterday I was amazed at how I felt about Ron Paul and his stance on health care.

Today I am amazed at more of what he has (or those in his employ have) said in the past.

"If you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be." (man employed by him, writing in Ron Paul's newsletter)

"Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the `criminal justice system,' I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal." (man employed by him, writing in Ron Paul's newsletter)

"Although we are constantly told that it is evil to be afraid of black men, it is hardly irrational. Black men commit murders, rapes, robberies, muggings and burglaries all out of proportion to their numbers."

Well, there goes my high opinion.

whoa.

It's almost November. What is November? Well, it's one year until the next presidential election date.

I read a little of the transcripts from the Republican debate the other night. I wasn't impressed really, until I watched Ron Paul deliver his closing statements. I liked what he had to say. So I read a little more about him on his campaign website.

Then I decided to read what Obama had to say about the same issues on his website. It was very interesting how I felt about it all.

I consider myself to be pretty liberal (socially and politically) generally. What struck a chord with me was the drastic differences between Ron Paul's view on the health care crisis in our country verses Barack Obama's view on the health care crisis. These differences then sent me into internal crisis!

Ron Paul believes that our system is too big, and therefore it causes problems driving the costs up and making it impossible for many Americans to have decent health care. So, downsizing the governmental role (FDA) in the system is his answer, making everything more affordable. He is an OB/GYN, and I guess his first hand experience in the system gives him a different view of the situation.

Obama believes that spending more money on a bigger and new system will solve the problem, by allocating money to redo the system completely, and pay into it so that everyone can have affordable health care and insurance.

What bothered me so much was that while I was reading Obamas plans, I just kept hearing myself say "wrong wrong wrong". I am absolutely floored that I would agree with the Republican over the Democrat on something so HUGE in this election. But, I will never ever be able to vote for someone who believes that our government should dictate by religion, when our country was founded on religious freedom. Ugh. Crisis.

how would you feel if you had to give your baby up to Hades?

So many people feel depressed when the weather changes from summer to autumn.

Autuem is strange like that. The colors are bolder at the end - it's like the plants *know* that this is all they have left in them, so they push it all out in one last show. At the end of that beautiful bright greeness, when things begin to fade, leaves change, grass starts to crunch more with each step, it feels as if the whole world is sad. It's even more sad because it knows that at the end of the sadness, there is nothingness.

Sometimes, it is no wonder to me the way Greeks, Romans (and others, of course) explained away the seasons. Demeter was inconsolable - her daughter swallowed up by Hades. That last bright greeness of the plants is exactly what Demeter felt as she saw the end of her time with her daughter draw near each year. Every autumn, you can hear the last sigh as Demeter realizes her baby has been given to the God of the Underworld.

Awake with the stars

Motivation. That is such a strong word.

I sit here on the couch, and I'm exhausted from working so early the last few days. I want to get up and do more things, like go to the bank, find more work clothes, finish the load of laundry in the dryer. But, my body is refusing.

I could be going through all of my things that I don't want or need anymore. I could be getting out of the house on this beautiful day and doing something else. I'm not. My body refuses to move. How cruel.

Ok, 1 - 2 - 3 move! Maybe.

Weddings make me mushy inside

This past weekend one of my very bestest friends ever got married to what I think is his perfect match.

I have to be honest, at first I was a little concerned because they decided to be married so quickly into their relationship, but I don't worry anymore. I think they are excellent complements.

I cried during their vows. They wrote their own, and they were so heartfelt and touching. My friend cried while pledging himself to his new wife, and I cried because I was so happy for them, because it was so beautiful to watch, and because hearing people talk about how much they love each other and exactly what the love means to them makes me realize how much I love I do love my husband, and how much I would do for him. I realize exactly how much I would take on for him, how much I would endure, and how much more after that I would take.

Work shoes

The power went out at work today. There are several things that were completely wrong about the way the situation was handled, but I'll get over it.
After work, it was such a relief to leave, and I went on what felt like an eternal search for appropriate work shoes that won't give my feet blisters.
I visited Target, two shoe carnivals, a payless, a rack room shoes, and finally the shoe department at the mall had a decent pair of not ugly work shoes that weren't going to cost a fortune.

It's metaphoric.

So, when I got home from shopping (by the way, it took 3 hours) I threw the old shoes away. They're in the trash outside.

And then I proceeded to clean out my dresser and the clothes in my closet. It felt good.

When I look up, I just trip over things

"cuz when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things"
- a portion of the Ani DiFranco Song, "As Is".

I think this sums me up right now.

On the cusp of moving past a stage in life into something more "grown up", I feel like desperately holding on to old things. I am fighting Chris' desire to get rid of all the things in this house that I don't need anymore.
I think the mascot for this time in my life are my old as hell Doc Marten's boots. They are a symbol of what I was, of what I spent my time doing, of my livelihood for so many years. Numerous restaurant floors have seen those shoes. Concerts have seen those shoes. They are close to 6 years old now, and the tread is almost completely gone.
But, here's the kicker.

They are no longer comfortable. I have successfully worn the comfort out of a pair of Doc Marten's. I have tried Dr. Scholl's inserts galore, and my feet are pained. Seriously pained.

I am holding on to a pair of shoes that give me nothing but pain, simply because they're old? I don't understand myself sometimes.

Tonight, I am going to buy a new pair of work shoes and throw the old ones out. I can only hope that I can start to look up without tripping over anything.