I woke up early to get to work by 6:30 a.m. I drove out of the driveway and entered into the murk of a cold fog. No sun, no other cars, just my headlights versus the clouds.
Work was murky - it felt murky. I came home, felt murky. Somehow, the fog has made my whole day murky.
After work, Chris and I headed out to see my grandparents. Pop is murky. His brain is murky. And the murkyness is killing me.
Out of the murkyness of today, I now sit in my living room after eating some Christmas dinner leftovers. Chris is asleep on the couch, and Bill Cosby is preaching to his children on the Cosby show. I need to be cleaning Cinderella style in preparation for my guests this weekend, but as of right now, I can't get motivated. I wish that I could wax philosophic prolifically. But I'm murky.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
pass the cheer....
A quick thought before working....
I am so emotional this time of year. It's a little bit silly, to be honest.
I just watched "Deck the Halls" - that silly Christmas movie with Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito...
And I got a little teary eyed and choked up during the ending. What is it about this holiday that gets me so emotional? I haven't quite placed a finger on it yet.
I am so emotional this time of year. It's a little bit silly, to be honest.
I just watched "Deck the Halls" - that silly Christmas movie with Matthew Broderick and Danny DeVito...
And I got a little teary eyed and choked up during the ending. What is it about this holiday that gets me so emotional? I haven't quite placed a finger on it yet.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Good Lord
Something that I've really taken issue with in the past few years is the emergence of a sort of counter-culture religious revival.
I know I've blogged about Barlow Girl before. They're sort of a counter-culture band, countering the focus on sex in society. My only issue with their message is that the woman must keep herself pure and clothed to keep her man holy. Now. Men are just as capable of keeping themselves "pure" as women. (Boys and girls, too. Because that's the age group this is targeting.) Now, in my opinion, telling adolescent girls that it's their responsibility to keep the boys around them pure. It takes all responsibility away from the boys, and places it all on the girls. If the girls dress provocatively, and the boys try to be "impure", then it's the girls responsibility - her fault. I think this is just taking that "original sin" concept a little too far. Don't focus on the women to keep the men pure. Focus on the men to keep the men pure, and the women to keep women pure. Don't place it all on the girls. That's a lot of responsibility to place on a 13 year old girl.
This other phenomenon, these Purity Balls. I read an article in a Glamour awhile back about this woman who pledged her purity to her father when she was a teenager. This woman had recently been married (she was 22 when the article was written), and her father had picked out the man she was to marry. They courted, didn't even kiss, because of the pledge she made to her father. I'm all for strong father figures....
Well, I recently saw the same girl with her father on TV discussing Purity Balls, this event where Dads take their daughters to sign a covenant between them - that he will guard her virginity, and that she will protect her purity. What kills me is when they started talking about "She is submitting to my authority, and I will pass that authority on to her future husband."
I'm all for saving yourself for an important person in your life. Everyone knows that I did. It was the right decision for us. Is the right decision for everyone? Probably not.
The man behind purity balls (haha, I said balls) claims that this is his reaction to a culture in which the "father figure is optional." Apparently, if you don't have a father figure, you're gonna give it up to everybody. But, is it necessary for fathers to make their daughters pledge THEM their virginity? My father didn't make me pledge him my virginity? Was I a model of courting and purity? Nope. But, the husband and I waited until we were married (and we were 23 and 24 when we were married).
I think it's more than just a little creepy. What's even more creepy is that the original reason for preserving a woman's virginity was to make it clear who the man's heirs were. The protection of a woman's virginity wasn't a religious or pure reason, it was to make sure that the man she was given to knew where his assets were going when/if he died. It wasn't because a disembodied voice came down and gave some old tired guy some rules to write on a piece of rock. That culture needed a way to keep up with property.
In this day and age, I do agree that young people need a little more guidance from older people. I think that if young people had more guidance, we would see a decline in some adolescent issues. But, for a man to be able to stand up and say "Here is this ball where my daughter submits to my absolute authority over her virginity, and will then submit to her husband's absolute authority."
I think it's a lot creepy.
I know I've blogged about Barlow Girl before. They're sort of a counter-culture band, countering the focus on sex in society. My only issue with their message is that the woman must keep herself pure and clothed to keep her man holy. Now. Men are just as capable of keeping themselves "pure" as women. (Boys and girls, too. Because that's the age group this is targeting.) Now, in my opinion, telling adolescent girls that it's their responsibility to keep the boys around them pure. It takes all responsibility away from the boys, and places it all on the girls. If the girls dress provocatively, and the boys try to be "impure", then it's the girls responsibility - her fault. I think this is just taking that "original sin" concept a little too far. Don't focus on the women to keep the men pure. Focus on the men to keep the men pure, and the women to keep women pure. Don't place it all on the girls. That's a lot of responsibility to place on a 13 year old girl.
This other phenomenon, these Purity Balls. I read an article in a Glamour awhile back about this woman who pledged her purity to her father when she was a teenager. This woman had recently been married (she was 22 when the article was written), and her father had picked out the man she was to marry. They courted, didn't even kiss, because of the pledge she made to her father. I'm all for strong father figures....
Well, I recently saw the same girl with her father on TV discussing Purity Balls, this event where Dads take their daughters to sign a covenant between them - that he will guard her virginity, and that she will protect her purity. What kills me is when they started talking about "She is submitting to my authority, and I will pass that authority on to her future husband."
I'm all for saving yourself for an important person in your life. Everyone knows that I did. It was the right decision for us. Is the right decision for everyone? Probably not.
The man behind purity balls (haha, I said balls) claims that this is his reaction to a culture in which the "father figure is optional." Apparently, if you don't have a father figure, you're gonna give it up to everybody. But, is it necessary for fathers to make their daughters pledge THEM their virginity? My father didn't make me pledge him my virginity? Was I a model of courting and purity? Nope. But, the husband and I waited until we were married (and we were 23 and 24 when we were married).
I think it's more than just a little creepy. What's even more creepy is that the original reason for preserving a woman's virginity was to make it clear who the man's heirs were. The protection of a woman's virginity wasn't a religious or pure reason, it was to make sure that the man she was given to knew where his assets were going when/if he died. It wasn't because a disembodied voice came down and gave some old tired guy some rules to write on a piece of rock. That culture needed a way to keep up with property.
In this day and age, I do agree that young people need a little more guidance from older people. I think that if young people had more guidance, we would see a decline in some adolescent issues. But, for a man to be able to stand up and say "Here is this ball where my daughter submits to my absolute authority over her virginity, and will then submit to her husband's absolute authority."
I think it's a lot creepy.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Musings inspired by Oprah
The buzz around Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" is exhausting. I want to read her book to see what it is exactly that has so many women up in arms over. What message does this woman have? From watching Oprah, I've gathered what she went through, and why she needed to "get away". But, on this last episode of Oprah, so many women were like "Oh, I was so inspired by her that i just left and went to Bali" or "I just felt I needed to be there". And these women just dropped everything and travelled to Bali or Italy. Hell, I'd love to do that too, and have a deep, meaningful spiritual journey. I have a feeling that this isn't Ms. Gilbert's message.
It's not being in those places that gives you the deep and meaningful spiritual awakening. And, thank goodness Oprah added stories of women who read the book and felt inspired to do things in a simpler way - like creating a space all their own out of an underused space in their house, or finding time for themselves to reevaluate what they were living, or finding religion WITHOUT traveling to Bali to meet a yogi.
I think maybe the message in the book is to listen to yourself? Instead of listening to what you think you hear. I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure that the message isn't "drop your life and go to Bali". I could be wrong.
So, instead of doing my homework that I desperately need to be doing (but it's so tedious and boring. I don't find it interesting at all, even though I know that it's pertinient information), I'm watching old TiVo'd episodes of Oprah, contemplating the spiritual journeys of other women. What the hell. I'm not trying to pass judgement on their journeys, I just think maybe that wasn't the point?
It's not being in those places that gives you the deep and meaningful spiritual awakening. And, thank goodness Oprah added stories of women who read the book and felt inspired to do things in a simpler way - like creating a space all their own out of an underused space in their house, or finding time for themselves to reevaluate what they were living, or finding religion WITHOUT traveling to Bali to meet a yogi.
I think maybe the message in the book is to listen to yourself? Instead of listening to what you think you hear. I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure that the message isn't "drop your life and go to Bali". I could be wrong.
So, instead of doing my homework that I desperately need to be doing (but it's so tedious and boring. I don't find it interesting at all, even though I know that it's pertinient information), I'm watching old TiVo'd episodes of Oprah, contemplating the spiritual journeys of other women. What the hell. I'm not trying to pass judgement on their journeys, I just think maybe that wasn't the point?
Monday, December 3, 2007
Internal crisis!
I'm still having a hard time admitting that I really like Ron Paul (gasp - a republican!) for this presidential election. I know I shouldn't stick to "parties" like that, but it's so hard for me to get over it! I know Ron Paul isn't exactly republican, he's more libertarian, and that makes the medicine go down better.
I like that he wants to take the gross bloating out of our government and simplify the process. I like that he doesn't think we need to be imperialistic to be a great country. I like that he thinks that the "big issues" (i.e. religion, abortion, gay marriage etc) shouldn't even be big issues in the national elections in the first place, and should be left up to states. I like that he wants to get rid of our financial crisis, and stop wasting money. I like that he wants our men and women out of Iraq etc and wants to stop the bleeding money!
It's just so odd to me to identify with a right-winger! That's never happened before. And it's rough!
I like that he wants to take the gross bloating out of our government and simplify the process. I like that he doesn't think we need to be imperialistic to be a great country. I like that he thinks that the "big issues" (i.e. religion, abortion, gay marriage etc) shouldn't even be big issues in the national elections in the first place, and should be left up to states. I like that he wants to get rid of our financial crisis, and stop wasting money. I like that he wants our men and women out of Iraq etc and wants to stop the bleeding money!
It's just so odd to me to identify with a right-winger! That's never happened before. And it's rough!
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
(A) perfect
A perfect spread of colors
as I look into the sky this evening.
Apollo leaves us (again)
he's so predictable.
As he leaves, he highlights how green
and not so green
the trees are.
As Demeter is distressed
the world is dying. Perhaps
it's only resting.
Aperfect symmetry in the trees
who were once symmetrically green.
They are now mostly yellow, partly red,
perhaps a little orange.
A perfect spread of colors
as I look into the sky this evening.
Apollo leaves us (again)
he's so predictable.
As he leaves, he highlights how green
and not so green
the trees are.
As Demeter is distressed
the world is dying. Perhaps
it's only resting.
Aperfect symmetry in the trees
who were once symmetrically green.
They are now mostly yellow, partly red,
perhaps a little orange.
A perfect spread of colors
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Smokey, this is not 'nam. It's bowling. There are rules
Oh, Voodoo Fest. What the heck were you thinking?
I loved the music. Most of the music was fantastic, and some was lackluster to say the least. I have to say that after spending most of Friday thinking about New Orleans and Katrina, and then listening to three different bands rage against the machine - including the band Rage Against the Machine.
"It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here
What better time than now (All hell cant stop us now)
All hell cant stop us now (All hell cant stop us now)"
-Rage Against the Machine "Guerilla Radio"
I am dissapointed in the state of affairs in this country right now. When Zack de la Rocha bent down on the stage, told us all that America wasn't only at war in Iraq - we're at war in America, against New Orleans, and asked us all to wake up - I felt something in me. New Orleans isn't what people (the media) make it out to be. Why aren't we more outraged by the way this country is going right now? Why aren't we standing up for something like generations before us have stood up for something? Why doesn't anyone listen when people do stand up?
I feel like that John Mayer song is very applicable as well. I hate putting John Mayer lyrics with Rage lyrics, but it works.
"now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change"
So, here's the issue with that John Mayer song. I think de la Rocha would smack Mayer. He would say we do have the power to bring our "neighbours home from war". Look at what our parents generation did for 'nam.
I loved the music. Most of the music was fantastic, and some was lackluster to say the least. I have to say that after spending most of Friday thinking about New Orleans and Katrina, and then listening to three different bands rage against the machine - including the band Rage Against the Machine.
"It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here
What better time than now (All hell cant stop us now)
All hell cant stop us now (All hell cant stop us now)"
-Rage Against the Machine "Guerilla Radio"
I am dissapointed in the state of affairs in this country right now. When Zack de la Rocha bent down on the stage, told us all that America wasn't only at war in Iraq - we're at war in America, against New Orleans, and asked us all to wake up - I felt something in me. New Orleans isn't what people (the media) make it out to be. Why aren't we more outraged by the way this country is going right now? Why aren't we standing up for something like generations before us have stood up for something? Why doesn't anyone listen when people do stand up?
I feel like that John Mayer song is very applicable as well. I hate putting John Mayer lyrics with Rage lyrics, but it works.
"now we see everything that's going wrong
with the world and those who lead it
we just feel like we don't have the means
to rise above and beat it
so we keep waiting
waiting on the world to change"
So, here's the issue with that John Mayer song. I think de la Rocha would smack Mayer. He would say we do have the power to bring our "neighbours home from war". Look at what our parents generation did for 'nam.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Kites and Running
I finished "The Kite Runner" yesterday. It was a sad story, for sure. But, it ended with hope and that's great in a world where all of the statements made are typically depressing and hopeless.
It makes me realize just how lucky I am to be a citizen of a country that isn't in civil turmoil. I am so lucky that my life hasn't been upturned by violent religious zealots intent on removing any opposition by any means necesary.
It also makes me feel very lucky to live in a country where I can readily aquire some pain meds for the migraine I'm trying to get.
It makes me realize just how lucky I am to be a citizen of a country that isn't in civil turmoil. I am so lucky that my life hasn't been upturned by violent religious zealots intent on removing any opposition by any means necesary.
It also makes me feel very lucky to live in a country where I can readily aquire some pain meds for the migraine I'm trying to get.
A whole website dedicated to starbucks gossip. Wow.
http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com/
It's hard to believe that people would dedicate a whole website to starbucks gossip. Wow people.
Friday morning we all go to NOLA for Voodoo! I'm so freaking excited for the trip!
It's hard to believe that people would dedicate a whole website to starbucks gossip. Wow people.
Friday morning we all go to NOLA for Voodoo! I'm so freaking excited for the trip!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Off days are nice.
I cleaned this morning, got rid of lots of things I was hanging on to for no reason at all, ran some errands. I found a new magazine that I dig at b&n - it's called "Bust". It might be a nice replacement for Jane. But I will always miss Jane. How sad for Jane.
I picked up my tips, visited for a little while at work, and came home for a few minutes and then out to visit with a friend. We had a great catch-up session about how life had been for us in the last few months, and it felt good to hang out with her again. I have missed her so much! I hate that I get so wrapped up in myself that I forget to call or email or talk to some of my friends. I don't feel self-important while I'm sitting by myself and enjoying it, but when I think about all the people I haven't called in awhile, I feel selfish. I mean, it is my time, but I should share!
The last two days have been challenging for me, but I needed some girl time, and I feel much better.
I picked up my tips, visited for a little while at work, and came home for a few minutes and then out to visit with a friend. We had a great catch-up session about how life had been for us in the last few months, and it felt good to hang out with her again. I have missed her so much! I hate that I get so wrapped up in myself that I forget to call or email or talk to some of my friends. I don't feel self-important while I'm sitting by myself and enjoying it, but when I think about all the people I haven't called in awhile, I feel selfish. I mean, it is my time, but I should share!
The last two days have been challenging for me, but I needed some girl time, and I feel much better.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
But, I love bagels.
http://www.bragster.com/bet/5498-pelt-ann-coulter-with-bagels-win-1000
This is too funny. That woman is insane!
This is too funny. That woman is insane!
Monday, October 15, 2007
carrot cake recpie
organic carrot cake recipe
1 cup whole wheat organic flour
1 cup white organic flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
3 cups grated organic carrots
4 organic brown eggs
1 C organic canola oil (you can use a different oil, but we use a canola oil that has Omega 3s in it)
3/4 C crushed pineapple (drained)
1 C golden raisins
Heat oven to 325. Grease a pan (you can make it as a 2-layer cake with 9-inch pans, or as cupcakes... I think it made 30ish cupcakes). Mix all ingredients except raisins in a mixer on medium for about 2 minutes. Add raisins. Bake.
Cream cheese frosting
12oz softened cream cheese
4 C powdered sugar
1tsp vanilla
1/2tsp salt
1 cup whole wheat organic flour
1 cup white organic flour
2 cups sugar
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
3 cups grated organic carrots
4 organic brown eggs
1 C organic canola oil (you can use a different oil, but we use a canola oil that has Omega 3s in it)
3/4 C crushed pineapple (drained)
1 C golden raisins
Heat oven to 325. Grease a pan (you can make it as a 2-layer cake with 9-inch pans, or as cupcakes... I think it made 30ish cupcakes). Mix all ingredients except raisins in a mixer on medium for about 2 minutes. Add raisins. Bake.
Cream cheese frosting
12oz softened cream cheese
4 C powdered sugar
1tsp vanilla
1/2tsp salt
Breakthrough? Or not.
So, yesterday I was amazed at how I felt about Ron Paul and his stance on health care.
Today I am amazed at more of what he has (or those in his employ have) said in the past.
"If you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be." (man employed by him, writing in Ron Paul's newsletter)
"Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the `criminal justice system,' I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal." (man employed by him, writing in Ron Paul's newsletter)
"Although we are constantly told that it is evil to be afraid of black men, it is hardly irrational. Black men commit murders, rapes, robberies, muggings and burglaries all out of proportion to their numbers."
Well, there goes my high opinion.
Today I am amazed at more of what he has (or those in his employ have) said in the past.
"If you have ever been robbed by a black teen-aged male, you know how unbelievably fleet-footed they can be." (man employed by him, writing in Ron Paul's newsletter)
"Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the `criminal justice system,' I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal." (man employed by him, writing in Ron Paul's newsletter)
"Although we are constantly told that it is evil to be afraid of black men, it is hardly irrational. Black men commit murders, rapes, robberies, muggings and burglaries all out of proportion to their numbers."
Well, there goes my high opinion.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
whoa.
It's almost November. What is November? Well, it's one year until the next presidential election date.
I read a little of the transcripts from the Republican debate the other night. I wasn't impressed really, until I watched Ron Paul deliver his closing statements. I liked what he had to say. So I read a little more about him on his campaign website.
Then I decided to read what Obama had to say about the same issues on his website. It was very interesting how I felt about it all.
I consider myself to be pretty liberal (socially and politically) generally. What struck a chord with me was the drastic differences between Ron Paul's view on the health care crisis in our country verses Barack Obama's view on the health care crisis. These differences then sent me into internal crisis!
Ron Paul believes that our system is too big, and therefore it causes problems driving the costs up and making it impossible for many Americans to have decent health care. So, downsizing the governmental role (FDA) in the system is his answer, making everything more affordable. He is an OB/GYN, and I guess his first hand experience in the system gives him a different view of the situation.
Obama believes that spending more money on a bigger and new system will solve the problem, by allocating money to redo the system completely, and pay into it so that everyone can have affordable health care and insurance.
What bothered me so much was that while I was reading Obamas plans, I just kept hearing myself say "wrong wrong wrong". I am absolutely floored that I would agree with the Republican over the Democrat on something so HUGE in this election. But, I will never ever be able to vote for someone who believes that our government should dictate by religion, when our country was founded on religious freedom. Ugh. Crisis.
I read a little of the transcripts from the Republican debate the other night. I wasn't impressed really, until I watched Ron Paul deliver his closing statements. I liked what he had to say. So I read a little more about him on his campaign website.
Then I decided to read what Obama had to say about the same issues on his website. It was very interesting how I felt about it all.
I consider myself to be pretty liberal (socially and politically) generally. What struck a chord with me was the drastic differences between Ron Paul's view on the health care crisis in our country verses Barack Obama's view on the health care crisis. These differences then sent me into internal crisis!
Ron Paul believes that our system is too big, and therefore it causes problems driving the costs up and making it impossible for many Americans to have decent health care. So, downsizing the governmental role (FDA) in the system is his answer, making everything more affordable. He is an OB/GYN, and I guess his first hand experience in the system gives him a different view of the situation.
Obama believes that spending more money on a bigger and new system will solve the problem, by allocating money to redo the system completely, and pay into it so that everyone can have affordable health care and insurance.
What bothered me so much was that while I was reading Obamas plans, I just kept hearing myself say "wrong wrong wrong". I am absolutely floored that I would agree with the Republican over the Democrat on something so HUGE in this election. But, I will never ever be able to vote for someone who believes that our government should dictate by religion, when our country was founded on religious freedom. Ugh. Crisis.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
how would you feel if you had to give your baby up to Hades?
So many people feel depressed when the weather changes from summer to autumn.
Autuem is strange like that. The colors are bolder at the end - it's like the plants *know* that this is all they have left in them, so they push it all out in one last show. At the end of that beautiful bright greeness, when things begin to fade, leaves change, grass starts to crunch more with each step, it feels as if the whole world is sad. It's even more sad because it knows that at the end of the sadness, there is nothingness.
Sometimes, it is no wonder to me the way Greeks, Romans (and others, of course) explained away the seasons. Demeter was inconsolable - her daughter swallowed up by Hades. That last bright greeness of the plants is exactly what Demeter felt as she saw the end of her time with her daughter draw near each year. Every autumn, you can hear the last sigh as Demeter realizes her baby has been given to the God of the Underworld.
Autuem is strange like that. The colors are bolder at the end - it's like the plants *know* that this is all they have left in them, so they push it all out in one last show. At the end of that beautiful bright greeness, when things begin to fade, leaves change, grass starts to crunch more with each step, it feels as if the whole world is sad. It's even more sad because it knows that at the end of the sadness, there is nothingness.
Sometimes, it is no wonder to me the way Greeks, Romans (and others, of course) explained away the seasons. Demeter was inconsolable - her daughter swallowed up by Hades. That last bright greeness of the plants is exactly what Demeter felt as she saw the end of her time with her daughter draw near each year. Every autumn, you can hear the last sigh as Demeter realizes her baby has been given to the God of the Underworld.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Awake with the stars
Motivation. That is such a strong word.
I sit here on the couch, and I'm exhausted from working so early the last few days. I want to get up and do more things, like go to the bank, find more work clothes, finish the load of laundry in the dryer. But, my body is refusing.
I could be going through all of my things that I don't want or need anymore. I could be getting out of the house on this beautiful day and doing something else. I'm not. My body refuses to move. How cruel.
Ok, 1 - 2 - 3 move! Maybe.
I sit here on the couch, and I'm exhausted from working so early the last few days. I want to get up and do more things, like go to the bank, find more work clothes, finish the load of laundry in the dryer. But, my body is refusing.
I could be going through all of my things that I don't want or need anymore. I could be getting out of the house on this beautiful day and doing something else. I'm not. My body refuses to move. How cruel.
Ok, 1 - 2 - 3 move! Maybe.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Weddings make me mushy inside
This past weekend one of my very bestest friends ever got married to what I think is his perfect match.
I have to be honest, at first I was a little concerned because they decided to be married so quickly into their relationship, but I don't worry anymore. I think they are excellent complements.
I cried during their vows. They wrote their own, and they were so heartfelt and touching. My friend cried while pledging himself to his new wife, and I cried because I was so happy for them, because it was so beautiful to watch, and because hearing people talk about how much they love each other and exactly what the love means to them makes me realize how much I love I do love my husband, and how much I would do for him. I realize exactly how much I would take on for him, how much I would endure, and how much more after that I would take.
I have to be honest, at first I was a little concerned because they decided to be married so quickly into their relationship, but I don't worry anymore. I think they are excellent complements.
I cried during their vows. They wrote their own, and they were so heartfelt and touching. My friend cried while pledging himself to his new wife, and I cried because I was so happy for them, because it was so beautiful to watch, and because hearing people talk about how much they love each other and exactly what the love means to them makes me realize how much I love I do love my husband, and how much I would do for him. I realize exactly how much I would take on for him, how much I would endure, and how much more after that I would take.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Work shoes
The power went out at work today. There are several things that were completely wrong about the way the situation was handled, but I'll get over it.
After work, it was such a relief to leave, and I went on what felt like an eternal search for appropriate work shoes that won't give my feet blisters.
I visited Target, two shoe carnivals, a payless, a rack room shoes, and finally the shoe department at the mall had a decent pair of not ugly work shoes that weren't going to cost a fortune.
It's metaphoric.
So, when I got home from shopping (by the way, it took 3 hours) I threw the old shoes away. They're in the trash outside.
And then I proceeded to clean out my dresser and the clothes in my closet. It felt good.
After work, it was such a relief to leave, and I went on what felt like an eternal search for appropriate work shoes that won't give my feet blisters.
I visited Target, two shoe carnivals, a payless, a rack room shoes, and finally the shoe department at the mall had a decent pair of not ugly work shoes that weren't going to cost a fortune.
It's metaphoric.
So, when I got home from shopping (by the way, it took 3 hours) I threw the old shoes away. They're in the trash outside.
And then I proceeded to clean out my dresser and the clothes in my closet. It felt good.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
When I look up, I just trip over things
"cuz when i look around
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things"
- a portion of the Ani DiFranco Song, "As Is".
I think this sums me up right now.
On the cusp of moving past a stage in life into something more "grown up", I feel like desperately holding on to old things. I am fighting Chris' desire to get rid of all the things in this house that I don't need anymore.
I think the mascot for this time in my life are my old as hell Doc Marten's boots. They are a symbol of what I was, of what I spent my time doing, of my livelihood for so many years. Numerous restaurant floors have seen those shoes. Concerts have seen those shoes. They are close to 6 years old now, and the tread is almost completely gone.
But, here's the kicker.
They are no longer comfortable. I have successfully worn the comfort out of a pair of Doc Marten's. I have tried Dr. Scholl's inserts galore, and my feet are pained. Seriously pained.
I am holding on to a pair of shoes that give me nothing but pain, simply because they're old? I don't understand myself sometimes.
Tonight, I am going to buy a new pair of work shoes and throw the old ones out. I can only hope that I can start to look up without tripping over anything.
i think this, this is good enough
and i try to laugh
at whatever life brings
cuz when i look down
i just miss all the good stuff
when i look up
i just trip over things"
- a portion of the Ani DiFranco Song, "As Is".
I think this sums me up right now.
On the cusp of moving past a stage in life into something more "grown up", I feel like desperately holding on to old things. I am fighting Chris' desire to get rid of all the things in this house that I don't need anymore.
I think the mascot for this time in my life are my old as hell Doc Marten's boots. They are a symbol of what I was, of what I spent my time doing, of my livelihood for so many years. Numerous restaurant floors have seen those shoes. Concerts have seen those shoes. They are close to 6 years old now, and the tread is almost completely gone.
But, here's the kicker.
They are no longer comfortable. I have successfully worn the comfort out of a pair of Doc Marten's. I have tried Dr. Scholl's inserts galore, and my feet are pained. Seriously pained.
I am holding on to a pair of shoes that give me nothing but pain, simply because they're old? I don't understand myself sometimes.
Tonight, I am going to buy a new pair of work shoes and throw the old ones out. I can only hope that I can start to look up without tripping over anything.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Otium cum dignitate
Otium cum dignitate is latin for Leisure with Dignity.
I'm hoping to have a little leisure with my blog, coupled with some dignity. Dignity is not something I see a lot of...
Tonight I worked with Holly. I love Holly. She's so grounded, and makes work so much more fun. I love talking with her. Work as social hour makes life better.
Last night Chrissy and I took off and went to Nashville and had a freakin' blast! Downtown Nashville is so beautiful at night. All of the improvements the city has done in the last few years have really made it a different place. Lots of beautiful scenery to look at.
I'm hoping to have a little leisure with my blog, coupled with some dignity. Dignity is not something I see a lot of...
Tonight I worked with Holly. I love Holly. She's so grounded, and makes work so much more fun. I love talking with her. Work as social hour makes life better.
Last night Chrissy and I took off and went to Nashville and had a freakin' blast! Downtown Nashville is so beautiful at night. All of the improvements the city has done in the last few years have really made it a different place. Lots of beautiful scenery to look at.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)